Somehow, that's what everyone says.
May I remind you how distant some friendships can be, and how deceiving...
No matter how many crowds you may meet you may still feel like like the wrong piece of every puzzle.
You believe and hope that you can somehow blend in.
But you know that these howls for your ideals are in vain.
You know your next step is that of a loner.
You watch from afar and glare in silence with a small hint of envy.
You become quiet and and observe with scrutiny.
In your mind, you convince yourself it is for the best even though your true feelings are ripping and snarling from your insides.
Then suddenly, in your unaware sleep, you realize that belonging in a pack does not mean "blending" in.
You realize it is only a matter of relationships, not politics.
In this moment of enlightenment you think these cries have somehow been answered.
Then you discover your cheeks are drenched in tears of gratitude and built-up distress letting its way out.
Although may I also remind you how brief this feeling has always been.
I see you roaming from pack to pack searching desperately for this emotional acceptance.
You are in more need of companionship than it may seem.
From others' eyes you seem complete, satisfied, proud and full of self-regard.
They will never know how you feel, am I correct?
Your secretive ways have led you to this, you may fool the others but you do not fool me.
You aim for Alpha and end up as Delta.
You begin to question your strength and feel entirely incompetent.
Surely, your strong character should have conquered that social rank but there is always some obstacle blocking your way.
And you pause to think and you discerned how everyone fell into that political trap.
You would disgust yourself if you found yourself tailing behind the rest.
Therefore, your true quiet self becomes scandalous and boisterous.
In a fight you were always the first to bite and sink your tooth into the others exposed neck.
That feeling of being ignored must be over in your mind but instead you discover you are much of a court buffoon.
You feel like the entertainment of your pack and want it to come to an end.
Your pack does not seem to appreciate your whole-self and treat you in a dismissive manner.
You watch as the respect from others goes down the drain and desperately try to take it back.
Of course, my love, things are not this way.
Gaining that respect once again may result into being a laborious quest.
Your imprudent actions have ended in consequences for your attempt of belonging.
That beast inside you roars for that lost dignity.
It seems that your sharp ability to define has also begun to wane, you are at complete loss.
But there is one thing that is truly admirable in your beastly guise.
Your ability to fight.
Your true warrior side has shone the best of you in the worst of moments and you always managed to rise up from the ashes and simply brush them aside.
Your have never given up.
And that may be the true facet of a beast, being a warrior.
And how do I know?
Because that beast inside, is really me. G.A.
